"Unconditional Love" video of Matthew Haines

“Godspeed Little Man” Video

For more about Matthew, please read the touching tribute his father shared with us.

Team Matthew: A Father’s Love

Team Friends of Heroes had the complete pleasure of having Sean Haines share the story about his precious son, Matthew’s journey with cancer on their LTN Kick-off conference call. If you were on that call, there is no doubt that you were as touched, moved and inspired as much as I was. So you will most certainly understand why we feel the need to share this story again with those that were unable to participate in the call.

This story is so powerful we feel that its message embodies our mission so very strongly. Also with Mother’s Day and Father’s Day having just passed, not only does this message speak to us the importance of FOH’s purpose but it speaks volumes to us as parents and the importance of what these days truly mean. So in place of our “normal” affiliate team interview we would like to share with you this transcript from Sean Haines, Team Captain to affiliate Team Matthew, and more importantly Matthew’s father.

I was graciously asked to share my story with all of you tonight, the story of my son Matthew David Haines. I was truly honored to accept since sharing memories of Matthew and the incredible life lessons he taught me, is one of my greatest pleasures and blessedly helps me cope with my own grief on a very personal level.

We all recently celebrated Mother’s Day a couple weeks ago, which means Father’s Day is just around the corner. I have always treasured Father’s Day since I have always treasured being a father. But when you lose a child, it’s hard for Father’s Day to not take on a somber tone since the person who enabled you to be a Father is no longer with you physically. Last year’s Father’s Day was exceptionally difficult for me. Last year, Father’s Day fell on my son’s birthday…. Matthew would have turned 10 years old that day….but, in 2005, my son lost his battle with cancer…

Matthew courageously fought his cancer from the time he was barely four years old….He endured incredible pain and suffering through a multitude of surgeries, sickening chemotherapy and radiation. He was at death’s door on many occasions. He experienced horrors no adult, let alone a child should ever have to face. But, despite all the pain, suffering and sickness, despite all he sacrificed in order to fight his cancer, Matthew never lost the essence of who he was: the most kind, compassionate, empathetic, and loving person I have ever been blessed with knowing…

But, I have to admit….during Matthew’s five year battle with cancer, I found myself moving farther and farther away from God. Each time Matthew relapsed, I felt further abandoned. Part of my brain was furious at God for allowing this to happen to my family and allowing my son to suffer in such a horrendous way. I felt more and more isolated from Our Heavenly Father…I stopped attending church. I felt betrayed…I felt lost…I felt alone…I felt like God either didn’t care or wasn’t there…

On November 18th, 2004, after my son had been hospitalized for 40 days, the doctors informed us that Matthew’s cancer had come back once again and there was nothing more that could be done…I emember the horror I felt as I wrote the following entry within my journal:

November 18th, 2004 – Day 40:

Cancer Has Won Cancer….the destroyer of hope….the killer of dreams….
Matthew’s cancer has come back…
The only thing growing in his bone marrow are cancer cells…
We are taking our little boy home with us…
Matthew’s cancer is incurable…
He has been given a ‘life sentence’ of 2 to 8 weeks…
I’m numb with horror and grief………….
My sadness is all-encompassing………
God help my family…..
God help my family…..
God help my family…..
God help my family…..

I poured out my heart and soul to God…I so desperately needed to believe in him once again. I so desperately needed to have him back in my life. I so desperately needed to know he would take care of my little boy…

God heard my plea….But I soon came to realize he ALWAYS heard my pleas….During the remainder of Matthew’s life, my eyes were opened and I was fully able to see the beauty that is Our God…I was able to see that through all of these years, God had never abandoned us. He had not left our side for even an instant. I was able to look back and see the miracles he put in place to help us THROUGH our pain and sadness. I realized that during the times I felt alone in the past, I wasn’t alone at all. The beautiful story entitled “Footprints in the Sand” is exactly what had been happening in my life…As you remember from the story of the man’s dream: He was walking along the beach with the Lord. The man questioned why, during the lowest and most difficult times in his life, there was only one set of footprints in the sand. He wanted to know why the Lord would leave him at the times he needed him the most. The Lord replied that he NEVER left him, and that during those times of trial and suffering, when there was only one set of footprints, it was then that the Lord carried him…

I was able to witness first hand God’s powerful grace as his loving arms wrapped around my family during the latter part of Matthew’s life… God blessed Matthew and his family with nine full weeks of love, laughter and togetherness. We didn’t waste precious time thinking about death. We lov-ingly embraced every single day as a true gift from God, living each one to the fullest. The fact that Matthew outlived the ‘life sentence’ handed down to him in the hospital is an example of just one of the multitude of miracles God provided during the time my family needed each other the most…

I remember writing in my journal about God’s “direct intervention” and how it did more to ease my pain than anything else EVER could since it helped put my son’s heart at ease with his inevitable outcome: “Matthew told Debbie and me God came to him in a dream this past week. He said a man in a white cloak appeared before him in a dream. Matthew said he knew this man was God. God told him he would be ‘OK’……that he would be taken care of. Matthew felt an overwhelming feeling of comfort and love surrounding him. He holds that dream very close to his heart…..but will not talk about it to anyone except us (and that is sparingly)…….It meant the world to me to hear about this dream……it truly did….”

I also remember writing about Matthew’s Angelic visits as well: “Matthew has told us Angels have appeared before him. They appear as children to him. They are all dressed up in white with halos and wings. They also tell him he is loved and will be taken care of. He has drawn me a picture of one of the Angels, but feels he just can’t do it justice…I thought the Angel looked pretty beautiful to me…”

For the remainder of Matthew’s life, he continued to amaze us in his understanding and acceptance of what was going on. He would tell us he was being visited by angels on a regular basis and that he was not scared to die when his time came. He even told us he was kind of excited about the idea of becoming an angel. Thank you, God, for helping put his mind to rest…as well as ours.

I remember Matthew telling us he would like us to have more children…He knew how incredibly devastated we would be as a family, and how pain-fully empty the house would be without his physical presence…He knew how far the pure love, beauty and joy, which comes from the arrival of new lives, would go in helping to heal our wounds…heal our hearts…heal our souls….

Matthew requested we use two names for the children: Michael Jacob and Jennifer Michelle…

Matthew and his mother were having an emotional heartfelt talk about two weeks before he passed away…Debbie was not able to hold back her tears of grief…Matthew looked into her eyes and said for her not to be sad….that she would be blessed with a pregnancy in seven months….

How much more proof do you need that Matthew was truly privy to God’s master plan than to learn Debbie and I were blessed with a pregnancy seven months to the day Matthew passed away….and that this was a twin blessing….one boy and one girl…whom we lovingly named Michael Jacob and Jennifer Michelle…honoring Matthew’s last request…

At 11:20pm on the night of January 21st, 2005…Debbie and I lovingly held Matthew as he drew his last remaining breaths on this Earth…We told him about all of the beauty he had brought into this world during his lifetime and that he would never be forgotten… he passed very peacefully within our arms as we comforted him…cancer couldn’t hurt him anymore…

Throughout Matthew’s cancer treatments, I continually prayed for a miracle for my son. A miracle that would save him from his cancer….

I came to realize that Matthew was the miracle….and that our miracle was here all along…Matthew was sent to teach us all a very important lesson…a lesson about what pure unconditional love and pure unconditional FAITH truly is…Through the example he set by the way he lived and loved his life, he has literally saved my life.

The bond between a father and his child is one of the most special, loving and spiri-tual connections that can exist in this world…..and the next….

So the advice I would like to pass along to all Fathers for this upcoming Father’s Day is to please remember…

Father’s Day is not about getting breakfast in bed, or being allowed quiet time to watch a sporting event on TV. It’s not about the store bought cards you receive or the pretend ‘Father’s Day’ crown your kids may make for you at school. It’s not about being ‘let off’ chore duty for one weekend. It’s not about the gaudy neckties and argyle socks you may receive that somehow find their way to the back of the closet, never to be seen again. It’s not about the kids promise to ‘play nice’ with each other during your big day….

You see…it’s NOT about the store bought presents or pleasantries you RECEIVE from your children…It is about the children themselves…THEY are the presents…THEY are the gifts…from GOD.

But unfortunately…too many fathers lose sight of this or tend to take their kids for granted ….Too many fathers don’t fully appreciate what incredible blessings they have right in front of them…Too many fathers don’t see their children as the beautiful gifts they truly are…

So please….please….take some advice from a father who fully understands the absolute preciousness of time….Please cherish every single moment you are blessed to spend with your children….since you never know how long you will have to hold them in your arms…to kiss them goodnight…to tell them… “I love you”…Please don’t waste precious time which should be spent laughing and loving because you will never get that back…. Please fully realize that every single additional second you have with your children is yet another true gift from God…

So you see…The largest life lessons can be learned from the tinniest teachers…My tiny teacher was Matthew. He taught me some very key life lessons that we all can take into our hearts and lives:

Value the moments: Include yourselves fully within your children’s lives. Make the most of the time you have together. Strengthen that father/son bond. Help each other to grow stronger empathetically and spiritually…

God will never leave you: No matter what trials you face or how bleak your outlook may seem, God will ALWAYS be there to help guide you through…even if he has to carry you…and be the only footprints in the sand…

It’s not the length of the life that matters…it’s what you DO with that life: None of us know when we will be called back home to our Heav-enly Father. We need to use the beautiful gift of life God has granted us to make a positive difference in this world…to touch as many lives as we can with compassion, love and the blessing of unconditional faith…

God bless you Matthew…You have been, and will continue to always be a very important teacher in my life…

My life’s goal is to now do whatever I can to help fight cancer and help ease the lives of those suffering with this disease.

I personally started walking and raising money for Light the Night six years ago. Last year, my team joined FOH and became one of your affili-ates…In the past; I was walking in support of my son Matthew and his fight for life. Now, since his passing, I walk in honor of my little man as well as all the precious angels that are currently fighting their cancer, or who have joined my sweet son in Heaven…

We all desperately need to keep up the fight…we desperately need to continue raising funds to sponsor cancer research. Medical research HAS come a tremendously long way toward finding a cure for pediatric cancer. Blessedly gone are the days when being diagnosed with cancer, in essence, meant an automatic death sentence for your child. Through all of the funding that has flowed in to expand upon and support on-going cancer research, whether it be via corporate grants or hard-earned public donations from the heart, the survival rates have dramatically in-creased for all pediatric cancers. The chance of your child outliving their cancer is becoming the dominant percentage, while the possibility of losing your child to this disease is slowly becoming more the exception than the norm…

But…when you are the parent of a child who has lost his life to cancer…when you are the parent who has watched incurable cancer ravage your child…when you are the parent who has tenderly held your child while they slowly died in your arms…along with all your hopes and dreams…dashed amongst the jagged rocks of overwhelming grief…all the pediatric research success is still…not…nearly enough. Not enough to stop the gut-wrenching pain…not enough to dry the heart-rending tears…not enough to fill the empty, gaping hole in your soul…not enough to bring your beautiful child back into your yearning, loving arms…to have and to hold once again…

Until every parent doesn’t ever have to experience the absolute worst pain imaginable…Until every single precious, innocent child can be saved from his or her cancer…

Research MUST continue to be funded…
Research MUST continue to progress…
Research MUST…NEVER…STOP…until a cure is found for every pediatric cancer…
…A parent should never have to bury their child…

The Friends of Hero’s organization, in coordination with Light the Night, has done amazing life saving work thus far. The money all of you have raised has helped bring a cure that much closer to reality. I encour-age…I PLEAD for all of you to please keep it up! Strive to do more every year…increase those goals, raise that bar, extend your abilities…Do whatever it takes to fund cancer research…We must all work together to help save these precious lives…

For all the hard but beautiful work you do, I thank you…the children and their families fighting this disease thank you…and my beautiful little Matthew thanks you…

And thank you all for letting me share with you…

Take care everyone…and God Bless….

Sean Haines

http://matthewhaines.info
Matthew’s Video Tribute

For more information, visit http://www.friendsofheroes.org or contact teamleaders@friendsofheroes.org

Words of wisdom and encouragement from a mom who appreciates the need for cancer research

Friends of Allie is proud to have the likes of Desiree Nichols in our presence. The fundraising and work she does to raise awareness is an inspiration to our Light The Night team.

Her daughter, Sammy, is one of the very special reasons why Friends of Allie has adopted the tagline “Putting a Face on Childhood Cancer.” Her cute mug can be seen in our collage featuring the 2005 Honored Heroes.

During our August team conference call, listeners had the privilege of hearing Desiree, a busy mom of three, share her family’s journey while dealing with Sammy’s blood cancer.

Here is an excerpt of Sammy’s story and ways to raise awareness and funds:

On March 8th, 2004 my then 2 yr old daughter was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia. At that moment my world came crashing down.

Over the past two years, Sammy has endured countless procedures, tons of medication, and actually doing wonderfully! We should be off of treatment this winter if all goes well!

I dedicated my life to being a “better” mother. Spending as much quality time as possible with my children. Taking in each moment, and each conversation, even when it drives me nuts bcause they are talking about something off the wall. LOL And to raise awareness and funds till the day I die.

To date I have raised over $13,000 for LLS. Have had two blood drives, and even had countless people get on the bone marrow registry. And most of it I have done by myself. Coming from a family that has been directly effected by cancer…. you would think I would have family members ready and willing to assist in each fundraiser, blood drive, etc. But no……..

I thank each and every member from FOA, and your family and friends you recruit to walk on your LLS LTN teams from the bottom of my heart. Each member here should be proud of themselves for stepping up to the plate, and giving back even when this awful disease has not effected your child personally. Each dollar you raise, each pamphlet you hand out, each person you tell Allie’s story to, as well as all the other childhood cancer victims stories too get’s us one step closer to a cure. Raising as little as $10, or high as $20,000+, each amount matters. It shows you care, and you’re making a difference.

I am honored to be apart of such dedicated, caring women. Who take charge, and have a goal in life! Together we will…. make our million dollar mark this year.

Just tell everyone you come in contact with. Have packets in hand to pass out. Chat with the parent’s at T-ball, ballet, or any other sport your child attends. Make cupcakes, or cookies and send to work with your hubby (selling them for a donation to LLS). Contact your local Chamber of Commerce and ask about upcoming events. Set tables up everywhere. You would be surprised at how many people are willing to give you a spot for free. Get the stroller out and walk around town. When you put a company on the spot face to face, it is harder for them to say NO. You will come to find out a lot of people are affected by some form of leukemia or lymphoma. And I can not stress the fact of getting your letters out. Last year, I pulled in a good $10,000 from just letters. I got out my phone book and sent one to each company. Not everyone will respond. But a lot will.

If anyone needs help with fundraising, ideas, or just encouragement, please do not hesitate to email me. I am here for you.

Hugs, Desiree

To support Desiree and Sammy in their fundraising, please visit
http://www.active.com/donate/ltnRichmo/SammyNichols

And, don’t forget to leave a guestbook message for the sweet princess herself!
www.caringbridge.org/va/princesssammy